I’m a whore…

19 03 2010

Sorry mum, but I am. 

I’m a big fat whore of words.

A prostitute of prose.

*sigh*

I disgust myself at times… Surely if I sell all of my writing then I am not being a true ‘writer’?

I thought all of this to myself very recently and then promptly went cold-turkey and gave up all my freelance writing gigs.

I became very poor.

And sad :(

And borrrrreeeed.

So out of necessity and need I picked up some new jobs – but this time I was extremely picky about my clientele, and the work that I would do. Call it selective or bitchy, call it whatever you want - I care not! Cos I’m writing again. And it’s fucken unreal!

I used to ‘churn out’ articles and blogs, ending up resenting the work, the client and producing some waffle (albeit still amusing waffle, but waffle all the same).  I hated it.

Now, I’m writing well and getting good cash-olla for it. I took some massive risks and they are paying off. Fucking finally.

I write first thing  in the morning on the train….reminiscent of my own short story The Broady Line – I sit in a corner seat with my moleskin notebook on my lap (thanks Leela) and inhale the fresh smell of morning breath and unwashed youth. Mmmmm…aceness!

Sometime between Broady and Ascot vale I realise that the sun has woken up and I’m two articles down and nearly at my destination. It pays for my train ticket and then some. Hmmm, why the fricken hell hadn’t I evolved before this?

The biggest payoff though is that I am working on my craft again.

Like a demon slut of syntax, a harlot of hellish text.

I am writing.

So, I am HAPPY.

And also a  whore.

Yes, yes I am.

Sorry mum :)





4 Years 3 months

16 03 2009

Storms at night look so yuck

at least I’m scared of them

and if you say I aren’t

I are

jac – Age 4 years 3 months

I found this poem in a family photo album…it was written in my mum’s handwriting and says it’s the work of ‘Jacqueline Age 4 Years 3 months’ (me). There is a little hand drawn picture that I added to the corner – I think it’s supposed to be a person holding a bunch of flowers (my artwork was never as good as my writing).

I was touched that mum kept this early attempt of my playing with words… almost like she knew that it would be a defining part of my personality (we are by rule, not a sentimental family and don’t hold onto EVERYTHING like others do)!

So yeah, it was quite a special thing to find. But what gets me, is that I still like it.  I like it’s rhythm, I like the feeling it gives me, I like the little girl’s attitude that I can hear in the last two lines… And I LOVE that mum had the insight to let my grammar slide and support my artistic licence to experiment with language instead. 

After all… ‘And if you say I’m not, I am’…just doesn’t have the same ring to it.








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